quiet calm
by dezel
Summary: One year is not long enough.


_WRITING THIS HAS BEEN AN INTERESTING ADVENTURE AND NOT BECAUSE IT WAS A DIFFICULT THING TO WRITE NO IT HAS TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT I AM AN IDIOT_

 _also this contains mentions of past child abuse and suicide mention._

–

"Thanks again for letting me stay here." Toris' voice is quiet, and Alfred gives him a large grin. It's so strange, seeing him now, at nineteen and looking _much_ healthier than he had back when they were going to that godawful school. Alfred had been dumped there by neglectful parents, while Toris was attending because his step-mother just wanted to get rid of him and they had ended up roommates.

"Oh, no problem dude!" Alfred waves his hand. "Make yourself comfortable. D'ya want coffee or anything?" He glows with excitement, but back then, he was like a small flame flickering and struggling to remain lit. Toris had been the same, but he was doused and never relit.

"Ah, no thank you." The apartment Alfred lives in is small, but practical, with a kitchenette connected to the living room and the small hallway leading to the bathroom and the bedroom. The place is cluttered, but it's so very Alfred-like that Toris can somehow manage to ignore it.

"If ya wanna rest after the long trip, go ahead. Bedroom's the furthest door down the hall." Alfred quietly shuts the door behind them, almost cautiously but that's a thing they picked up in the hellhole. Be silent, be unseen and be obedient.

Toris nods as he gently sets down his bags. "Y-yes, I think I might do just that." He doesn't know exactly what possessed him to want to visit Alfred, it just happened one day while he was at work back in Lithuania. So, he had looked Alfred up and got reconnected, and now, it's just so odd. Toris had kept in touch with one other person, Feliks, and they visit each other every few weeks but they never talk about that place. It's best not to. He heads down the hallway, and slips into the bedroom, messy and the American flag is haphazardly tacked up above the bed, which is messy and contains more pillows than blankets.

The window is open, but covered with a red sheet. Toris heads over to the window, and pushes aside the sheet for a moment and peers out. The streets are narrow, with a few teenagers loitering about, as well as someone smoking down below. He can hear some of them talking, despite being on the third floor and Toris closes the window.

Out of habit, Toris adjusts some of the things on Alfred's small dresser, and shoves in the clothes hanging out. Toris had always been one to dislike mess, and whenever he gets the chance, will start organizing or cleaning things no matter where he is. He's not a "clean freak" (as Alfred would say) like Jan or Arthur were, but he was up there. A messy dorm would equal in ten whip lashes.

Finally, jet lag does set in and Toris crawls into the soft bed and eventually falls asleep.

–

Alfred taps the end of his mechanical pencil against the paper, the words and numbers mixing together briefly and he sighs, peeking at his notebook. Some days, he regrets applying at NYU and going in for a biochemistry major. The courses are, admittedly, hard but he's managing to pass with B's. After graduating and leaving that hellhole of a private school, Alfred had tried to convince himself to function normally and get into college, and just move on with his life. Sometimes that proved difficult, but he mostly just manages to pull through by calling Arthur or Matthew.

When Toris stumbles out of bed, it's sometime after six in the evening, all sleepy eyed and messy hair, clothes askew and for a brief moment, confused.

"Sleep well?"

"I could sleep _forever_ ," Toris grumbles as he pulls out a chair and sits down. Alfred makes a humming noise. "What are you working on?"

"Uhh, homework."

And the night passes uneventfully, with Alfred offering to take him out somewhere but Toris would just rather stay home and watch old black and white movies.

–

The week passes by slowly and quietly, Alfred decides to email his professors, saying that he can't make it due to family obligations and would just rather the heavy load of homework than leave Toris alone. They play catch up, leaving skeletons in the closet and ghosts in the walls. Toris weakly admits that he had tried to kill himself some time ago, and it was a neighbor who had found him. Alfred had gone no contact with his family, making the choice at eighteen and did not bat an eye when his father passed away.

He informs Toris that Arthur is looking into buying and reforming that hellhole, after all, he came from a very well to do family and vowed to make sure future students wouldn't suffer. How it's all legal, nobody really knows. It just _is_.

On Friday, they do go out because Toris leaves Sunday. They see a movie, some horror movie because Alfred is too scared to go alone and Matthew puts off going with him. And because they have to be twenty one to get into clubs and bars, and neither are old enough for that, and fake ID's are a hassle. When they get home, it's well after two in the morning because they drove around for a few hours, Alfred showing Toris even more of the large, sprawling city.

They stumble in, sleepy-eyed and off in their little worlds.

"Er, c-could we maybe sleep together tonight?" Alfred plays with the hem of his shirt. "J-just in case, y'know, demons come."

"Are you scared?" _This_ hasn't changed about Alfred at all.

His face goes red. "No! I just gotta be the hero and protect you, 's all."

"Uh huh. Sure." Toris humors him anyways and after they get ready for bed, the both of them crawl in together. Out of habit, Toris gently weaves his fingers through Alfred's hair as Alfred clings to him like some scared child. He can feel Alfred's fingers dig in at every loud noise the pipes make, and wonders which is causing the fear more. A year isn't long enough to recover.

"Hey, Toris?"

" _Taip_?"

There's a moments hesitancy. "Do you really have to go back?" It's times like these where Alfred's southern accent becomes noticeable, thick with sadness or fear. Sometimes, even excitement and he becomes incomprehensible.

"Well, _yeah_. I have a home and job there, plus Feliks."

"You still talk to him?"

"Mhm."

"D'you like him?"

"As a friend. We tried something more, but it didn't work out."

" _Oh_. I'm sorry." Alfred rolls over onto his back now, staring up at the ceiling. "I wish you could stay long enough to meet Mattie. He's a pretty cool dude."

"Where'd he go?"

"His grandfather passed away, so he returned back to Manitoba for his funeral."

Toris also rolls over onto his back. "Oh, I see. That's too bad," Alfred utters out a quiet, _yeah_ , and sighs. He bites his lower lip for a moment and looks at Toris out of the corner of his eye and finally sits up. Without thinking, he grabs Toris's hand, lifts it up and presses his lips against Toris's fingers. He kisses each one on the tips individually and softly, before finally kissing his knuckles.

Without thinking, Toris reaches up with his other hand and grasps Alfred's shoulder and pulls him down into a gentle, chaste kiss. He trails kisses towards one of Alfred's eyes, and kisses the lid, before moving down to his cheek. He kisses Alfred on the lips again, this time gently nibbling at his lower lip.

They pull away after a moment, Alfred's blue eyes darkened with lust and Toris's face is flushed. "You okay?"

" _Yeah_. Are you?"

One year isn't long enough.

Alfred kisses him again, this time hard and with a ferocity and clumsiness that could only be contributed to inexperience. Not like Toris has much either, since he refuses most romantic and sexual advances from people. It isn't the lack of interest, but more so the lack of trust. Two years for him, it isn't long enough.

He bites back a groan when their hips grind together, the fabric barely containing the friction between their erections. Alfred moves down to his neck, nipping and biting at the skin there, and trails kisses to his chest and circles his tongue around a nipple. Toris groans, fingers digging into the soft fabric of the sheets. Alfred sucks loudly, his other hand gently circling the other nipple and pinches. Finally, he moves down, leaving wet trails of kisses as he does so.

Toris closes his eyes for a few minutes and covers his mouth as Alfred fingers his erection through the fabric of his underwear, and when Alfred gently squeezes, Toris lets out a loud moan, back arching. Alfred licks his lips and tugs at the waist band, barely pulling it down but still enough to free his erection.

He trails his fingers up and down Toris's erection, just barely grazing it and wraps his fingers around it, giving it a slow but firm pump. Alfred starts to jerk Toris off, going between stroking the hard, hot skin, rubbing the head and trailing pre-cum along his erection and pumping. Alfred draws in a deep breath and presses a kiss at the head, and trails down. He nibbles, gently, before giving the underside a long lick and Toris groans loudly, squirming.

Alfred wraps his lips at the head and pushes down as far as he can go, forcing himself to relax his throat and gives a suck, before drawing back, dragging his teeth. He swirls his tongue around the head, loudly and wetly sucking as he pushes Toris back down again, moaning every so often, sending vibrations up his cock.

Toris reaches down and gently tugs at a lock of Alfred's blond hair. Toris lets out a low grown and swallows as he tries to speak, "H-hey, Al-"

Alfred flicks his tongue out and rubs at the sensitive skin, and Toris gives a sharp tug, hips bucking as he cums. Alfred continues to suck and gently squeezes at his clothed balls and Toris lets out a loud noise that sounds between a shout and a moan, hips arching up more. Finally, Alfred pulls off with a wet _pop._

He swallows and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and runs his other hand through his hair.

"H-how was that?"

"Good," Toris murmurs, between breaths. Alfred smiles a bit and climbs back up and kisses Toris softly on the lips as Toris flips them over. It doesn't take long for Toris get another erection. "Ah...do you have lube?"

Alfred sits up, forcing Toris to crawl back a bit to give him room. Alfred reaches over and opens up the top drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a condom and lube.

"Here," His face is more flushed now, maybe more from embarrassment now. Toris opens the pack and applies the condom and Alfred crawls back onto the bed and lays down, relaxing on the multitude of pillows he insists on having. Toris climbs in between his legs, and nibbles at his chest, before kissing him again.

He applies the lube to his fingers and Alfred lifts his hips, legs spreading and grimaces when he feels cold fingers press against his entrance. Toris's fingers probe around, scissoring and stretching Alfred before pulling out.

"Are you ready?" His accent is thicker now, and Alfred nods as Toris positions himself. Slowly, Toris pushes in and Alfred bites his lower lip, emitting a low groan. Toris leans forward once he's at the base and their hands meet, fingers curling together.

Toris's damp brown hair tickles Alfred's nose, causing Alfred to crinkle his nose. Gently, Toris pulls out and pushes back in, slowly picking up a slow, even pace. Alfred adjusts his hips so Toris strikes against his prostate, and Alfred releases Toris's hands and wraps his arms around his shoulders and pulls him down, legs wrapping around his hips.

His moans grow louder as a hot feeling forms in the lower pit of his stomach, his moans in Toris's ear seems to fuel him as his pace soon quickens and the only sound is the moans and skin slapping against skin. Soon, Alfred cums, over their stomachs and Toris nips at his neck, slowing and stopping as he cums as well.

They remain in the position they are, Alfred's arms wrapped tightly around Toris's shoulders and Toris laying on top of him. At some point, Toris does roll off Alfred, removes the condom, throwing it away in the garbage bin nearby and stare at the ceiling, still panting.

It doesn't take long for Alfred to fall asleep, and Toris rolls over onto his side and stares at the sleeping nineteen year old. Gently, he reaches out and swipes a clump of hair out of his face and smiles faintly. The pitter-patter of the rain slowly lulls him to sleep.


End file.
